The Viruses!! They Got Me!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm scurred to connect to the campus network right now. Last week I had an outbreak of viral infestation on my system. Still haven't quite recovered. I only connected long enough to type this and check my email. Few more days and I should be well enough to provide a real entry. Let's hope so.

Lots To Say.

Just no will or wish to actually post it. Maybe in the next coupla days. Probably not though. We'll just have to see if I'm through feeling like a lump of clay detached from the rest of the world by then.

Moods. They're so unpredictable, aren't they? Yeah they are.

LOL. Why am I always answering my own stupid questions. I don't even know. Ha! I did it again.

You know what's good? Laughing at yourself. But if you can't do that, just go ahead and laugh at me. Laughter is good. And I'm pretty funny.

So funny, in fact, that I'm turning this into a real entry when I thought it was only gonna be an update for the sake of the update crazy (ahem. . .check the tagboard, lol). Don't be surprised! You already know that moods are unpredictable. Man, you learn so much from just reading this one blog.

Say, can I just say that I am increasingly growing to love CCM (that's Contemporary Christian Music, for those of you who don't know -- and that's yet another piece of knowledge I dropped on you! I am so wise!). Music has always been one of my favorite ways to worship, and I usually feel closest to the Lord when I'm singing or humming or even just listening to a song. Well I only used to listen to gospel, and the familiar praise/devotion songs. Pass Me Not. Glory, Glory Hallelujah. Etc. But one fine spring day in the spring of 2004, I somehow discovered a song by a woman named Ginny Owens. It was called "If You Want Me To," and once I heard it I couldn't stop hearing it. It's such a simple and beautiful pledge of devotion to the Lord and His will even when we don't know where we're going or why we're going there. I used to play it for hours and hours. I wonder if my roommates remember that time?

So I branched out to find more of her music, and I found it to be equally wonderful. I started looking for similar artists. And then I found her. The one and only, so often quoted in the "song for you" excerpts that you should know who I'm going to say before you read it. Think about it.

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Nichole Nordeman.

You've heard me sing her praises many times. I only just started listening to her this past fall. And the first song of hers I knew by heart is called "Fool For You;" it's all about faith. She sings so sweetly, "I will be a fool for You, all because You ask me to. A simpleton or seemingly naive, I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me." Powerful words, no? Yes. I looooooooooove Nichole Nordeman. So, of course I grew to love more and more of her music, as you can see. So I started looking for artists similar to her. (See a pattern forming? Well that's a sharp eye you've got!) This led me to finding my newest CCM favorites -- Bethany Dillon and Jennifer Knapp.

Each of these women has a different sound -- Ginny is more praise-ish, and wise and upbeat, Nichole is more instrospective; her lyrics will sometimes pierce my heart because they're just so true. Jennifer Knapp and Bethany Dillon both have a folk-rock edge to their music with guitars, drums, and even banjos (!)( lol.) on some of their songs. But they're all good to listen to in any of my several moods.

My roots are still with gospel, of course, but I like the way my musical tastes are expanding. It's a good thing.

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A Song For You Today:

Jennifer Knapp
His Grace Is Sufficient, Kansas (1998)
(this is actually a really upbeat, jazzy song. don't let the lyrics fool you. LOL.)

I've exhausted every possible solution, I've tried every game there is to play.
In this search for Christ-like perfection, I'm convinced I've only left my God ashamed.
I cry, I wonder, can He hear my despair?
Afraid to lift my hands, afraid He doesn't care.
And if He answers, and I fall again, can I still be His daughter?
Can I still depend on Him?
When I'm down I search every mistake, I'm looking for new regrets.
Sometimes I forget, I forget
that His grace is sufficient for me --
it's deeper, and wider than I concieve.

BOOOOOOOOO! *hiss* BOOOOOOO.

What am I doing pulling a near-all-nighter in the spring term of my senior year of college? That mess just does not make sense. The boooing in the title is directed at not only my professors (who should've had the foresight and kindness to give me some exemption from actually having to do their assignments, just cuz I have this acute case of senioritis), but it's also directed at me.

*Gasp!! What?!*

Yes, I actually boooed myself. My extra-procrastinaterish self. I was up until 1:30 last night trying to write a 5 page paper for my poli sci class. It's due @ 5 today. And no, I'm not done yet. Still gotta write a conclusion. But the point is, I knew about this mug since last Wednesday. 7 days ago. And I've had precious little work to do since then. Write 2 poems and this paper. That's all I had assigned. 7 days. And neither thing is done at the moment. LOL. But it's not funny. But it is. But it's also a shame. So I get the boo. I deserve it a lil bit.

I know all y'all are saying 1:30 ain't that late, but whatever. It is for me! I already told y'all I was lame, and I meant that. Bedtime is like 10:30 or 11 on weeknights. Past midnight is practically an all-nighter for me. You don't know how tired I was last night. And still was up at 7 this morning! That's just not right, is it? Something's wrong with me for real.

Anyway, for those of you who know me very well, you also know that I absolutely love and cherish and honor the tv show, MARTIN. I was planning to do a little top 10 countdown of my favorite episodes, but somebody beat me to it. Check out KillaCal's tribute to one of my all-time favorite shows.

You Should Not Assume. . .

. . .that I'll ever have interesting and meaningful things to say. Really. Because most of the time I don't. So why do I have a blog? Because I can if I want to! Shucks.

Anyway, yeah. So I'm not a blog-a-day kind of girl. But since certain people are update-crazy (ahem. . .check the tagboard. . .) I gotta put something down. Today it's a meme! A meme is a random bunch of questions that bloggers can answer when they can't be bothered to think of anything original to write about. Yup. That about sums it up for me. So awaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!

Were you named after anyone? Nope.

When did you last cry? A few hours ago when I had on my Nichole Nordeman playlist; "I Am" and "Every Season" always touch my heart and get me bawling for joy about how good God is and how He's always there and I'm getting misty just thinking about it so let me stop now. . .

Do you like your handwriting? Yes. It's beautiful. I do get a lot of compliments about my handwriting actually. And back in the 2nd grade in Mrs. Logan's class, I think that was the only subject I used to get A's in. Now that's some nonsense for you. How in the world did I make it into the 5th best liberal arts school in the country if I couldn't even get an A in 2nd grade English? I leave it to you to decide. LOL.

What is your favorite lunch meat? Roast beef. Or turkey I guess, if it's some good turkey and not the Oscar Meyer kind that's shredded and molded and flattened beyond recognition and then pressed into some kind of turkey-ish loaf. I can't stand that mess. If it's some Louis Rich or Sara Lee turkey from the real bird, then that's a different story altogether.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Man, no. I'm lame.

Do you have a journal? No. I do not. I have a blank book that I sometimes write my thoughts down in. But it's not a journal. It's a blank book. There's a difference. What the difference is I don't know, but I'm not gonna call it a journal, because that's what everybody calls it and I just am not like everybody else. I'm not! I will not be ordinary!! You can't make me!!!

**Interrupted by the Overreaction Police, who, after some resistance, handcuff me and lead me off to CALM SPRINGS**

1 hour later. . .

Okay. I'm back. I'm calm. But can we just call it a blank book please? Okay. Cool. Thanks.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nope. Never. Ever.

Red or pink? What kind of question is that? Magenta, man.

Last thing you ate? A Pringle. Sour cream and onion flavor. Mmmm.

Last person you talked to on the phone? My brother. Yay!!

Last movie you watched? The Incredibles. It was incredible. (Breaking it down, into the Latin, "credo" is believe, and the prefix "in-" as in the opposite of, meaning incredible = unbelievable. As in The Incredibles was unbelievably good. Yeah. I broke it down into the Latin for absolutely no reason. That's right. But what are you doing reading things in parentheses anyway if you weren't looking for unnecessary information? That's what parentheses are for! Don't get mad at me for getting off-topic. I gave you the proper heads-up.)

If you could be on vacation anywhere right now, where would you go? I don't know. I guess right here, since I'm in my bed and I'm sleepy. Sounds perfect to me.

So on that note, I'm about to set off on my extra-luxurious vacation. I hope it's pleasant. At least I know I can afford it.

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A Song For You Today:

Nichole Nordeman, "Every Season," from This Mystery (2000)

And everything that's new has bravely surfaced,
teaching us to breathe.
And what was frozen through is newly purposed,
turning all things green.
So it is with You, and how You make me new,
with every season's change.
And so it will be, as You are recreating me,
summer, autumn, winter, spring.

Peer Pressure CAN Be Beautiful!

Indeed.

My great friend Edaeni has finally caved in and created a blog. Whooooo!! Oh, it's happening. I can feel it happening. Pretty soon more and MORE of my friends will join us 4, and we'll spread our bloggerish wisdom all over the cyber universe. We'll rule everything, like real dictators should! MUA HA HAAA HAA HAAAAAAA!!!

I can feel it.

You've been warned.

"In ATL I Caught A Case. . .

. . .and the media tried to say, I had a habit, I couldn't manage, and I'm throwing my life away. . ."

That lyric is from "Again," by Faith Evans from her new album, The First Lady . Tell me why I love this song to death! Okay, the song is just pure goodness. It's full of wisdom, and I can't stop, won't stop playing it. It's not just cuz she's bold (lol.) enough to admit, in the song, for all to hear, that she got caught up on some nonsense for a minute, and it's not just cuz she actually goes the extra mile to say she's together now, and the media tried to demonize her on purpose. And not because of Faith's beautiful, rainy-whispery voice. It's not just because she's got this completely addictive Motown-esque drumbeat and these angelic "oohoooohoooooohs," and this twanging guitar strum going through the whole thing, forcing me to keep bobbing my head, shoulders, and hips to the inescapable groove of it all. (Yeah, I know you wanna hear it now, but I can't post it! Can't do it! You gotta go to the Amazon link and hear the sample, man. That's all I can do for ya.)

I love this song for all of the above reasons, but I love it to death because Faith makes sure to say, "I wouldn't take away the rain, cuz I know it made me who I am." She says, "If I had to do it all again, I've learned so much from my mistakes. That's how I know He's watching me."

Yes! That is it. That is the perspective I think we need to have. It rains, and we get sad and grey. But if we take that rain and use it for its true purpose, then it nourishes us. And we grow. Can't do it without rain. It just won't work, you know?

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Some More of This Song for You:

Nobody knows what life may bring.
It might make you happy,
it might make you sad sometimes.
But I know there’s a reason for everything.
That’s why I keep believing;
Whatever is meant to be it's going to be.

Random Things You Should Know

First off, I bet this blows your mind: I recently found out that NO ONE, and I do mean NO ONE in the whole United States of America is really a conservative. Nope. No one. Not even you. You might think you're a conservative, but you're dead wrong. As it turns out, actually in actuality all of y'all who think you're conservatives are really just extremely guarded liberals.

Blew your mind this time, didn't I? That's right. Perhaps later on I'll elaborate on exactly why you think you're a conservative, and why you're wrong. Stay tuned.

***Abrupt Transistion Alert!!!!***

I really miss my sister. Haven't seen her in two years. That's too long a time. She's graduating from college next month though, and I'm definitely gonna be there when that happens. So be happy for me, Perseverant Ones, dears, suckas, and all the others out there who continue to read this mish-mash even though it is so extra mish-mashy. Be really happy for me, please, because in about 5 weeks, no in exactly 5 weeks, I'll get to see my sister again. Whoooo!! I can hardly wait. Not gonna institute a countdown for this though, because the last time I did that it didn't work out too well. LOL.

***Abrupt Transition Alert Numer Two!!!!***

I don't have anything that can be called a "spring wardrobe." This is truly a dilemma for me. See, in years before, when springtime finally rolled around after month upon month of gray sky, cold wind, and brown grass, I was too wrapped up in graduating from college to care about wardrobe. 'Tis true. But now I'm a senior. Graduation is no longer a dim possibility on the horizon. It is imminent, and it is guaranteed -- I'm getting ready to bust up out of here.

So for the most part, this term I'm like, "Forget classes! Shucks." This very senior-ific attitude leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. Some say it should be devoted to catching up on world events, or good books, or communing with nature. Me, I don't agree. I'm all wrapped up in wardrobe. But the sad part is, I'm not "wrapped up" as in "clothed in." I'm wrapped up as in I can't quit thinking about running up to the Cities and going to Savers, blowing all my money on some flowy skirts and strappy sandals. And you know that's not a healthy mindset. Especially when my extra-broke self needs to save up as much money as is humanly possible in 3 weeks in order to afford a plane ticket to North Carolina for my sister's graduation. (Remember? From, like, two paragraphs above? Yeah. That one.)

Anyway, though. I gotta go to class now.

Three.whole.hours.of.listening.to.people.talk.about.their.poetry.

Yes, it's as draining as that sentence would lead you to believe. But it'll give me 3 hours to ruminate some more on this near-desperate-but-not-really-desperate-yet situation. Do I need to change my mentality, or do I need to change my clothes? We'll see.

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According to this Verse For You (and me) Today, I'm worried about entirely the wrong clothes. Perspective is a good thing, is it not?

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against evil. Stand, therefore, having your loins girt with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness. And your feet shod with the knowledge of the gospel of peace - Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. ~ Ephesians 6:11, 14-16

Update, Update. . .

So here's an update for ya. This is the update right here. These words you are reading are the update. They are the news of my goings on, the summary of my personal world events, the synopsis of what's happening. Yeah. This is it. Keep reading if you want, it'll just be more of me reemphasizing that this these words are all the update I got for you at this present time.



Still reading?


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How about now? Well why are you still reading when I have nothing to say? You say you don't believe me? Oooooh. Okay. Obviously you are one of the precious few people who know that my life can never be as dull as I am suggesting right now. Well, okay. For you, and just for you, Perseverant Ones, if you scroll down the page just a bit more, you'll find my real entry. Go ahead. Scroll on.

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Psyche.

Happy one week and a day anniversary of April Fool's, suckas.

I'm out. I'll be back when I've got something to say. Or when I feel like thinking of something to say. Whichever comes first.

Might be a minute.

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A Verse for You Today:

Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds - his name is the LORD - and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
~ Psalm 68: 4-6

Can I Just Say. . .

I am really tired of seeing people write/type this:

"ya'll."

What is that? It's poor grammar, and you know I can't stand poor grammar. If you want to use the contraction of the words "you all," the proper way to do so is "y'all." That's all I'm gonna say about that, y'all.

So I'm back in Minnesota. It's the same as it ever was.

Dang. It sure feels good to hear a song you haven't heard in a while. Especially when it's your song from way back when, and it brings back all those memories of where you were and who you were with, etc etc. Today for the first time in a loooong time I heard my song, Understanding by XScape.

Oh my goodness. This song came on LaunchCast radio, and I just almost fell out. I was probably 10 when it came out, so I was in the 4th grade. And everyday after school on the bus we would sing this and En Vogue Giving Him Something He Can Feel. And this girl named Roseta and this other girl named LaShaiya Bailey would always try to take the leads because they thought they sang better than everyone else. But whatever. On "Understanding" though, I would always try to sing Khandi's part "I tried so very hard to keep our love alive, but you don't wanna meet me halfway, then the understanding diiiiiiiiiies!" That was my part. You felt that girl's pain, right there. Her man was not listening; he was being selfish and she was feeling unloved. All that emotion. 'S a great song. It really is. Lol. I think you gotta know the song to understand. Nostalgia is fun though.

Also, why didn't anybody tell me today is Daylight Savings Time? I felt so played this morning; I woke up thinking it was 9:30, so I was getting ready for church. Then I saw my cell phone saying 10:45 and was like, "Wait a minute. . .I done missed the bus. How'd that happen?" And then I saw that it was Daylight Savings. Played.

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Another Nichole Nordeman Song Today:
"River God" from the album Wide Eyed (1998)

Holy River God,
little stones are smooth
only once the water passes through.
So I am a stone,
rough and grainy still
trying to reconcile this water's chill.

But when I close my eyes,
and feel You rushing by,
I know that time brings change,
and change takes time.
And when the sunset comes,
my prayer would be just one --
that You might pick me up and notice that I am
just a little smoother in Your hand.

Finally At School

Yes I have arrived. Back at Carleton. Meh.