go. be great. be green.

No, this is not a ringing endorsement for Ralph Nader, or any attempt on my part to get more of y'all to eat your spinach. I'll leave that to Popeye. And whoever shills for Ralph Nader.

I now belong to a corporate cult.

Evidence? From my employee handbook:

Go. Get things done.

Be great. Achieve excellence.

Be green. BE THE BRAND.

Apparently, "these are the principles we live by," and this is "our cultural rallying cry."

I know. I know you're wondering what in the world it means to "be the brand." I haven't a clue what it means, and I'm scared to find out. I have an eerie feeling the company has some kind of secret "branding" ritual for employees after we pass the 30-day mark. But until then I only know that "being the brand" has something to do with "merchandise dominance."

I have obviously underestimated the importance of my (seasonal) position in the Christmas department. I'm a soldier, people. It is my sacred duty to support my company, and I will raise our cultural rallying cry as I beat the streets to greenify the nation!


*


*


*

Yeah, right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Verse For You Today:

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. ~ Colossians 1: 21-22