"jody sawyer."

*spontaneous clapping and cheering ensues*

That's from the monumentally profound and brilliantly performed feature film called Center Stage, starring titans of drama such as Zoe Saldana and Ethan Stiefel. If you've never seen this cinematic masterpiece, it goes without saying that there is a great big hole in your life, and in your soul. Go watch it. Now. I promise your life will change.

If you have seen this remarkable film, then surely you remember the ending, from which my title is drawn.

I bring this ending up because whenever an event occurs in my life that I just can't account for, that final scene pops into my head. It's a Jody Sawyer Moment.

It's hard to get it across online, but I laid it on thick so I'm assuming you picked up on the sarcasm slathered all over my description of this movie. Then it shouldn't come as a surprise when I say that my "Jody Sawyer" moments usually involve a completely ridiculous situation. Just the way that it is completely ridiculous for an entire lobby full of strangers to burst into loud, spontaneous applause and cheering for some girl they don't know or care about, just because Cooper Nielsen says "Jody Sawyer."

I had a Jody Sawyer moment in class today. Well, there were two, really. Both courtesy of my professor. Check it out. We're all talking and discussing, and then he brings up the subject of the paper we have due next week. Fine. He goes on about the usual -- length, style, what have you. Then, he takes a thoughtful pause, he puts his hands in his pockets, and says something like, "Let's make sure we're all on the same page. This is a paper. That means it needs to have a title, right?" We're nodding in agreement, "Yeah, of course, right." Tell me why he then proceeds to the blackboard, picks up the chalk, and draws a diagram of a sheet of paper. Automatically my eyes widen in disbelief of what's obviously coming. He draws a line across the top of the page, "Title goes here." What?!? And then, "Make sure it's right. And page numbers, not on the first page, but starting from the second." Okay. . . "Double-spaced, and that means double-space between the paragraphs too, MLA format, blah blah, blah blah." Mm hmm. "And don't forget your name."

What!?! Speaking to a room full of graduate students, who combined have probably written enough papers to fill the classroom we were sitting in, this guy takes it upon himself to make sure we don't forget to put our titles at the tops of our pages. As opposed to slipping it in between two of those double-spaced paragraphs, I guess.

Ridiculous! So ridiculous that I expected him at any moment to jump up and start clapping and cheering. I wouldn't have been surprised.

I felt the same way about an hour later, when we began discussing a new book. We all flipped our books open, and he asks, "Do you guys make an outline when you read?" I say no, because I do the underline, write in the margins deal. He looks at us in disbelief and says, "You might look into writing up outlines for dense material like this in the future." Well, okay. Good suggestion. But then, "And you know, it's also good to highlight, or even underline important passages and terms. You should also make notes to yourselves, you know. That way when you read again, you'll know which points struck you. Mark up your books!"

Huh? I mean can we get a little credit for, you know, graduating from accredited colleges? Can we just take it for granted that we all have a basic grasp of note-taking and paper-writing? How is it that when we say we don't write a complete outline for each book, all of a sudden we're in remedial reading class? Say it with me: What?!?

I know! Ridiculous is the appropriate word. So uncalled for. Jody Sawyer.


*huge cacophony of claps and cheers*

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A Verse For You Today:

I lift up my hands for Your commands, which I delight in, and I meditate on Your words. ~ Rsalm 119: 48